


Primula Vulgaris

by lilacnightmares



Series: Flowers of Paradise [2]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Another Story (Mystic Messenger), Anxiety Disorder, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Depression, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Not Beta Read, POV Multiple, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self Insert, Wish Fulfillment
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-01-31 21:21:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18599656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilacnightmares/pseuds/lilacnightmares
Summary: The way she looked at him was like he was the sun to her moon. They existed in the same universe but it seemed as though they could never share the same sky for very long. Yet they met during an eclipse of hearts. Could she hold onto Saeran even as the universe tried to pull them apart from one another? Or will they be ripped apart despite their desire for an everlasting eclipse? SI FIC. Another Story Spoilers!Sequel to Convallaria Majalis!





	1. Wires | Saeran & Lila

I

**WIRES**

* * *

"Saeran... Saeran...? C'mon, wake up. It's just a nightmare." His eyelids fluttered open; The darkness that had been haunting his eyes was now far removed from him as the heat from artificial lights hit his eyes. Lila was staring at him with very worried eyes. Normally when he had a night terror he would awake all alone in the darkness except for the unnatural blue light of his computers to illuminate the room.

It wasn't uncommon for him to go through a cycle of nights where he lived the same sort of nightmares, but for some reason, they had gotten even worse since he had gotten out of Mint Eye. Saeran had the feeling that it had something to do with the fact that his body was still biting him in the ass with withdrawal symptoms. He may have gone many days without feeling it when they first escaped but it caught him to him. He could feel nausea burning in the pit of his stomach and he wanted to curl up into a ball.

"What...?" He could only stare at the brown-haired woman, monetarily confused by his surroundings. This didn't look like the barren walls of the Magenta compound. The colors were far too dim to ever match the whites that had been used to paint the walls. Oh, right. They weren't in Mint Eye any more, they were staying at his brother's place for the time being.

Lila's hand brushed the hair from his forehead where it had clumped together with sweat, and almost immediately her hand recoiled. A frown appeared upon her face. "You're burning up, I knew I shouldn't have gone to sleep earlier when you told me to. I knew better. Ugh, why didn't you tell me it was happening again, Saeran? I could've done something before it got worse."

Saeran opened his mouth to say something but she shook her head. "No, no, don't you try to argue with me about it, you took care of me back at Magenta, and now I'm going to take care of you."

There was really no point in telling her otherwise.

"...okay," he said.

"I'll be right back."

It was hard for Saeran to be able to accept that kind of help. However, Lila didn't give him much of a choice in the matter when it came to making sure that he was okay. She just did what she wanted to do and kept doing it.

This was going to take a while for him to get used to it.

Those first few days that they had spent together in this bunker had been a blur to him. He had been so exhausted that he slept most of the time and it didn't allow him to come to grips with everything. It had been naive of him to expect that he would just alright because he was out of Mint Eye, or that he would just be okay with Lila holding his hand. It was a lot more difficult than that; And while he had been exhausted and certain that his problems were long gone, Lila seemed to know better, and she was just waiting in bated breath for him to stumble so she could offer her hand and help him get back up again.

While Lila was balancing on a scale back at Magenta, her personality hadn't been able to flourish. Now that they were free of that place and living together in this bunker, she had really made herself known as a charismatic girl. She was a doer, that much he had known but it hadn't been obvious to him until just recently. The way that she stayed awake with him throughout the night to make absolutely sure that his night terrors didn't scare him awake. The way that she acted without saying anything... like she just knew what he needed.

It was moments like that when he remembered that she had been in such a bad space not too long ago, and she knew very well what she wanted from others even if she wasn't getting it. Lila was far more of a blessing then he deserved.

He shut his eyes and waited for her to return.

_"Wow. I had seen this place in pictures before but it really doesn't do this place any justice. This is way different than a CG in the middle of a game. I can't believe how big it is. He really wasn't exaggerating. No wonder it took Jumin's team a few days to check for any clues and clean it out. It's just a freakin' labyrinth in here," She looked around the room._

_Saeran had to agree with her sentiment. "...I didn't expect him to live like this."_

_Lila held his hand as they walked through the threshold of the bunker past the protected gate and heavy doors revealed a living space that seemed far too big for just one person; but the added benefit of this much space meant that he had just about whatever he needed at his fingertips and he wouldn't have to reach out to anyone to make a fuss. She seemed a bit awed by the space, whereas he wasn't sure how to feel about it. A part of him was still bothered by the idea of being in this space where his brother had once been._

_She glanced at him, "Well, I'm going to make sure Jumin held up his offer of restocking the kitchen. Are you going to look around as well?"_

_"I'll need to update his security system," he said. "If it's anything like what Yoosung Kim has been telling me then I really don't want to have to sing Happy Birthday in Arabic to get inside."_

_Lila smiled, the expression on her face was exasperated. "You can call him just Yoosung, you know?"_

_"Oh, yeah. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I've been talking to the RFA in this capacity... it's just a reflex." He glanced away, looking a little embarrassed. His social cues were not up to par with most people. He knew how to mind his manners but that was about all he understood to do when he was around others._

_"You'll get used to it," She reminded him. "_ _It's hard with the RFA for me too._ _I'm still floored talking to you sometimes. Remember, I thought you guys were just video game characters before I came here."_ _She didn't seem to have the same problem that he was having but he appreciated that she empathized with him._

_"Yeah... right," He merely nodded his head and began to walk down the corridor._ _Lila went one way and he went another way._

_It was strange that the first room that he wound up walking into was the very room he had wanted to see. There were nearly a dozen screens and drivers into the corner of the room._ _Less than two weeks ago, his brother had been in this space fighting him._ _It was clear when he saw the computers and the layout that he had thought that Saeyoung would have. This room was the place where his brother had spent most of his time. He_ _ran his fingers against the familiar keys of the keyboard._

_"So... this is where he was."_

_This is where he had been all this time._

_While Saeran was lost between Jihyun and Rika, Saeyoung had been trying to work himself to death for both of their sakes. Sometimes, he couldn't believe that information even though it had been handed to him. Old habits tend to stick no matter how hard he tried to push them away. He was slowly trying to desensitize himself to his brother, so every time he thought about him or every time he was in this space he wouldn't feel like he was going to be sick. It wasn't as bad as it could be -_

_but the sensation was lingering no matter how hard he fought it._

_Baby steps... taking baby steps to the next milestone. That's what Lila had told him to visual. There was no need to rip off the bandaid all at once in this circumstance. He didn't have to think about making up with Saeyoung, or anything. His goal was to make sure that his brother was alive and that he could be free to make his choices from now on. That was what he deserved at the very least; He didn't deserve to be killed by their Father or his actions, nobody deserved that fate._

_Saeran took in a deep breath and booted the computers to life._ _He ignored the feelings in his gut and set out to work. He had to make sure that everything was just right so they would be safe. Numbers and letters blurred into each other, and he seemed to lose track of time when he worked. It took him some time to reroute around the passwords and locks, but by the time he reached what he needed, it only took a few minutes to change the codes._

_Who in their right mind would implement the kind of pass locks that Saeyoung did?_

_He knew the guy to be a sadist when he wanted to be, but some of the things that his friends told him were downright ridiculous. It seemed smarter just to use a long string of numbers and letters, that's what he had drilled into his own passwords. He didn't dare do something ridiculous like forcing people to recite a foreign language and sing songs while dancing to a specific tune._

_Saeran could only shake his head in exasperation._

_If the circumstances weren't so grim then he doubted he would be able to understand the kind of person that his brother had become since they had last seen each other as children._

_It wasn't until Lila appeared at his side that he knew that he had been working himself too hard._ _She tapped his shoulder to catch his attention and then rested her hand against on top of his._ _"Hey, are you okay? You've been in here for a while and... I know you said you were fine with staying here in the meantime but... we don't have to if you're uncomfortable with it," She squeezed his hand. "There's always another option if this is too much for you, Saeran. You've already pushed yourself way more then anyone thought you could. I don't want you to feel like you have to do this."_

_He squeezed back._ _"If I work with... Saeyoung's setup then it just saves me time and I don't have to worry about bothering Jumin for anything I need. I can use whatever he has left to my advantage for locating him._ _Jumin said his drivers weren't too far wiped out, so most of his stuff is still there. That's going to make a huge difference in our search... and besides, just the fact that you're here with me makes it easier to be here."_

_"Well, I wasn't just going to go back to my apartment, Saeran. That just doesn't feel like home anymore."_

_"Oh?" He raised an eyebrow._

_Lila smiled at him._ _"Home is... wherever I'm with you."_

Saeran was shaken from his thoughts when footsteps came from down the hall and back into the room.

Lila hadn't taken too long, she seemed to figure out where everything was without too much work. She pressed a damp rag to his forehead, humming a melody underneath her breath "This should help the fever come down if only a little bit, I managed to find some medication as well... let it be known that Seven has an organizational system like mine. It's what I lovingly call controlled chaos. He puts his junk where I wind up putting mine and thank goodness for that."

She handed him a pill and helped him down it with a glass of water. The sensation wasn't all that thrilling but he wasn't bothered by his gag reflex any longer... not after months of forcing himself to drink the acidic concoction that Rika had personally crafted with her cohorts.

"...thank you, Lila." He mumbled. Was this warm feeling what it would be like to have a caring person in your life? Would it have felt this safe and gentle had his Mother treated him and his brother with love and respect? If it was, Saeran never wanted to lose this feeling; He wanted to cling to it and never ever let it go far from his embrace.

"It's no problem, Saeran... please try to get some rest, okay?"

* * *

**Wisteria has entered the chatroom.**

**Jaehee Kang has entered the chatroom.**

**Wisteria:** Looks like I'm awake for the day. (,,꒪꒫꒪,,)

 **Wisteria:** So much for sleeping in.

 **Wisteria:** Good morning, Jaehee!

 **Jaehee Kang:** Good morning to you as well, Lila!

 **Jaehee Kang:** I hope you had a pleasant night all things considered with the chaos in the background.

 **Jaehee Kang:** You and Saeran are well?

 **Wisteria:** Well... I'm okay.

 **Wisteria:** Saeran is still having trouble with his health. I knew it would catch up with him sooner or later. He's going to rest today and I'll have no butts about it!

 **Wisteria:** He's just exhausted himself this past week... going from one extreme to the other like the tip of a hat.

 **Jaehee Kang:** He works without complaint and often long hours...

 **Jaehee Kang:** I can't say much as I do the same myself, but I do hope he feels better soon.

 **Wisteria:** I'll say. (ノ^∇^)

 **Wisteria:** Speaking of exhausting work...

 **Wisteria:** The calls and emails haven't stopped flooding into C&R, huh?

 **Jaehee Kang:** Not at all. ( ´•̥̥̥ω•̥̥̥` )

 **Jaehee Kang:** It has been... tiring. But we've managed to get through the brunt of it.

 **Jaehee Kang:** It doesn't help that Mr. Han has left Elizabeth in my care most of the time.

 **Wisteria:** ೭੧(❛▿❛✿)੭೨ I believe in you, Jaehee! Keep your head up!

 **Wisteria:** Haha. If I wasn't so worried about Saeran, I would offer to help you with Elizabeth.

 **Jaehee Kang:** I appreciate the offer, but I've roped Yoosung into helping with that.

 **Wisteria:** Making himself useful. Oh boy.

**Yoosung has entered the chatroom.**

**Yoosung:**  (゜´Д｀゜) It's true, I'm a glorified babysitter.

 **Wisteria:** Frankly, I'd consider it an honor. Jumin doesn't trust anyone with his cat.

 **Yoosung:**...I guess if you put it that way.

 **Yoosung:** Saeran is alright... right?

 **Wisteria:** Yeah. He's just exhausted. Don't ask him cause he won't admit it.

 **Wisteria:** ୧༼✿ ͡◕ д ◕͡ ༽୨ If I have my way he's going to rest today.

 **Wisteria:**  You know what they say about short people. We're angry because we're closer to the pits of damnation than the rest of you.

 **Yoosung:** I wouldn't try and stop you;;;

 **Wisteria:** I know you wouldn't. ;)

 **Yoosung:** Especially not after seeing how determined you are to protect Saeran...

 **Wisteria:** (✿´ ꒳ ` )

 **Wisteria:** He's very precious to me.

 **Wisteria:** I'd do anything for him.

 **Jaehee Kang:** Ah, lovebirds.

 **Yoosung:** You're telling me... (˵¯͒⌢͗¯͒˵)

 **Wisteria:** Also, has anyone heard from Zen since yesterday?

 **Jaehee Kang:** He's been getting swarmed a lot more recently because of his performance. He's been trying to stay out of the eye as to not deter from the real issues.

 **Yoosung:** He said he was going to take a day to relax!

 **Wisteria:** I figured. Well, he does love attention from his fans so that's not all that bad. But I'm relieved to hear he's taking care of himself.

 **Wisteria:** Jaehee, would you let Jumin know that I appreciate all that he's sent to Saeran and me? I haven't been able to get through to him. I assume he's been taking calls left and right.

 **Jaehee Kang:** Will do.

 **Jaehee Kang:** He's been handling most of the talking with the government and any reputable sources. So I'm not surprised that you haven't been able to speak with him.

 **Yoosung:** I

 **Yoosung:** No, Elizabeth!

 **Yoosung:** Oh, gosh, I need to stop Elizabeth from-

 **Yoosung:** I'll talk to you later.

**Yoosung has left the chatroom.**

**Jaehee Kang:** I should probably go and make sure they're alright.

 **Wisteria:** Understandable.

 **Wisteria:** I'll talk to you later today, okay?

 **Jaehee Kang:** Right! o(^▽^)o

**Jaehee Kang has left the chatroom.**

**Wisteria:** Even as things change... it feels like you guys still stay the same compassionate people.

**Wisteria has left the chatroom.**

* * *

Primula Vulgaris is the scientific name of the flower that he showed to me with a smile on his face. Otherwise known as primrose, a common primrose. In the language of flowers, it often means to convey, "I can't live without you".

It was the first flower that Saeran saw the day after we escaped; the dew on the morning bud caught his eye and he told me about it. He said it reminded him of me. I only turned red and gave a small push to his arm to tell him that I was embarrassed about that. Ever since the moment that I met Ray- no, since the moment that I met Saeran, ever since we had gotten close to one another it grew harder and harder to ever think of leaving his side and going back to where I came from.

I didn't dare think about going back home even once. It actually hasn't crossed my mind since we had started working with the RFA to try and locate Saeyoung. My mind had been firmly planted on staying at Saeran's side until we figured out where he had been hidden.

The Prime Minister had been arrested.

But he would say nothing of Saeyoung's whereabouts.

Our investigation of their childhood home had helped no answers, and while we had taken care of the monster that threatened the livelihoods of Saeran and Saeyoung, it didn't give us Saeyoung back. It just didn't feel like things were working out in our favor at all. Just when Saeran and I had escaped Mint Eye, we had losses to consider with our victories.

I gave one last fleeting look at Saeran's sleeping form and stepped out of our room to explore Seven's bunker.

It really didn't live up to the pictures that I had seen. There were so many rooms and seemingly hallways upon hallways. It reminded me of a labyrinth, and I wasn't fond of puzzles. The moment that I saw Saeyoung in the flesh I was going to give him a stern talking to for living in a place like this. It was too big for him! I couldn't imagine this kind of luxury nor did I think he thought twice about it. I had found myself in his garage, and then the kitchen, and then miscellaneous bedrooms spread with his costumes and gadgets instead of the room I had been searching for.

After walking into the wrong one, I managed to find the right one.

His set up wasn't all that different from Saeran's. There were plenty of screens and the room was beyond chilling. I understood that they had to keep things from overheating but the involuntary shiver that ran down my spine reminded me of the reality of their work. Saeyoung and Saeran were hackers, and they had the ability to destroy countless things if they wanted to do it. That wasn't what either of them wanted to do at their core; So, the thought didn't bother me as much as it should have.

I stared at the artificial light coming from the monitor as if it could give me a clue.

"Where are you, Saeyoung?"

The Prime Minister had been tight-lipped whenever anyone tried to question him about him. The way he spoke without batting an eyelash left a sick feeling in my stomach. I didn't want to believe that he or Vanderwood had been killed... they had lived in so many other horrible situations that it would have been laughable if this could kill either one of them. Also, it made me feel a pang of guilt for not reaching out to Saeyoung before it had become too late for me to do so.

So many times I had tried to hint to him that I might have known more then I should have but he just didn't get to seem to get the hint. I had been no choice but to stop myself from telling him about Saeran clearly. It was for my own safety. Had I said too much when my life was in danger then Saeran wouldn't have been saved at all. But I felt so guilty about all of it. I hadn't breathed a word of this guilt to Saeran... nor was I going to do it. All of this was because of the game that I installed on my phone to play with, and because I had made a lot of mistakes by trying to play the field.

I lifted my phone in my hand and stared at the Mystic Messenger app.

"And no matter how hard I try to wrap my head around it, I don't understand how Cheritz was able to make a game about the RFA. Even if they have somebody who knows about the hidden leylines... they shouldn't be able to know anything about them just because of that."

That thought had been bothering me for days.

My Dad had likened it to realities existing upon realities. He said that I needed to open my eyes to the possibilities. He spoke of many leylines and many exits and entry points. I couldn't imagine how many of them existed and knew about the locations of more than just one of them. The leylines didn't have to lead to this universe, either. They could have lead to other times or places. If one reality exists, who was to say that multiple other realities didn't exist? Who was to say that psychics and sensitive people couldn't tap into the universe and see into the lives of other people without realizing it?

If that was the case... then I struggled to wrap my head around the realization that I could have wound up in a universe with wizards or something had I not walled right into this one. That was an existential crisis in a handbasket. Pushing those thoughts to the back of my head, I shook my head and tried to focus on the task at hand.

I pursed my lips and sat down in Seven's chair, booting the computer to life and hooking my phone up. not have been a hacker, but if there was any chance of information existing in the game that could have given me answers to Saeyoung's location then I was going to try and find it. This dimension wasn't the Mystic Messenger that I had played... I didn't even know if it existed as an option in the code. When Saeran had managed to briefly open the game... all he found was pieces of the common route where the game hit a bad end and his counterpart destroyed everything in some capacity.

We hadn't spoken at length about that since that time. Part of the reason why he snapped out of his psychosis was that he saw himself in a way that he couldn't turn away from. If he kept on that path as Unknown then he would lose himself... and whatever we had in the process. I didn't bring it up, and nor did he ask me anymore about it. However, we both understood that the information in the game was something that nobody should have their hands. It would have to be dealt with in the future.

I hadn't tried to open it since I had gotten here.

It was worth a shot.

Clicking the icon, the game tried to boot up but it crashed, giving me a 404 error instead. How had Saeran been able to recreate the information from all that broken code? No matter what I did, every file that I tried to open would be a jumble of numbers and letters with things that only vaguely made sense to my eyes. "Are you serious? Don't tell me we're going to have to rework it all the way over again to get back my information... I can't go back home just to get the answer right now. I don't even know if the game would work back home either... ugh."

Technology just wasn't cooperating!

"What are you doing, Lila?" My shoulders tightened at the sound of Saeran's voice echoing through the once quiet room. He was standing in the doorway behind me with his arm resting against the door frame. It had only been an hour or two since I had gotten him to go back to sleep, and he was still in no shape to be on his feet.

I took in a nervous breath of air, not looking back at him. "I thought I told you to get some rest. What are you doing out of bed?"

"You were gone... so I... I kind of thought... I just... that..." he trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.

I understood what he was trying to say to me, and it made my heart ache. I spun around to face him and my face sank at the sight of Saeran looking at me with that tired look. There were the faintest traces in his expression that reminded me of the way that Ray had on his face when he desperately wanted someone to embrace him tightly. I hadn't seen that in a while. I had the slightest inkling that that's who I speaking with at that moment. "I didn't want to disturb you, that's all. This is the first time in days that you've slept peacefully. I couldn't bring myself to bother you."

He didn't say anything which only lead me to confirm that suspicion.

I let out a sigh. Standing to my feet, I walked over to him and peered up at his eyes. He wasn't wearing his colored contacts at my insistence that he did not sleep in them. It was strange to see him with the golden color around his irises, but I found that liked it. I reached up and brushed my fingers against his cheek. "It's been a while since it's been just you awake, Ray. I thought you understood that I wasn't ever going to leave you. I promised you that you couldn't get rid of me no matter what happened."

Ray did a double take and then looked at the ground. "How did you know it was me?"

I smiled. "I know you and Saeran will take a while before your two personalities blend back together with the way that you both wanted. It's only been a week and some change since we got away from Magenta. It was beyond optimistic to expect this would be a smooth ride. You've both been doing very good this past week but I figured that sooner or later one of you would wind up more dominant than the other depending on what you were feeling in the moment."

"You aren't upset?" he asked, softly.

"Of course not! I love all of you. It doesn't matter if you're Saeran or Ray or whoever you are in the moment... my heart stays the same no matter what," I shook my head. "You just have to let me know who I'm speaking with when these things happen. That way I know how to help you handle the problem, and I don't misname you."

His shaking hand reached up and pressed against my hand, keeping it close to his heart.

"I'm sorry I frightened you," I murmured. "I'll try not to do that next time."

"It's okay... you're with me now," the glimmer of joy returned to his eyes. "That's all I need."

I nodded. "Yeah. I feel better knowing you're with me too, Ray."

I smiled at him, and then looked behind me at the abandoned computers. I took in a breath, "Look, I was trying to see if I could tinker with the game myself. It hasn't worked since I got here, and I know it can be opened because you did it once already. I just need to know if the game knows where Saeyoung is right now. If there's any chance that there's even the smallest clue, I need to find it, Ray."

"Do you really think it might know something, princess?" He stared at the monitor, unsure. "I don't recall seeing anything but turmoil in the future at my own hands and... there was nothing about him at that moment I had it that spoke of his kidnapping... at least, I don't think there was anything there. I only remember seeing... the bad endings. I don't think it's a good idea to mess with it again."

"I don't like touching this anymore then you do." I was nervous about it. Saeran had only alluded to those realities where Mint Eye won. There was never any word of the timeline we lived in. Still, the pieces about everyone's weaknesses were not a good thing to have in hand. "But I don't know if we can leave it at just that suspicion. We have to know for sure. I don't want anyone to know about what the game has on it, but if it could help us even just a little with finding him... I think it's worth trying to pry the information out again."

"...I'll think about it."

I nodded. "Thanks. That's all I'm asking. I won't be able to get this open without your help, Ray... and if it turns out there's nothing, we'll wipe the information out again."

He didn't seem pleased with the idea. "Yeah. That would be for the best. Nobody should have access to that information."

I agreed with that. "In the meantime, we can count on Jumin's task force to help us find out anything else. I know that with your power and his power at the helm, sooner or later, we'll find him, but I fear for his physical and mental health if it takes too long."

"Me too," he admitted. "I don't know how bad he must be out there..."

"We'll find him, Ray. I know that we will. It's just going to take a lot of work... and doing things that aren't always the best thing. Speaking of which, neither you nor Saeran is going to work for the rest of the day. You're going back to bed right now! This time I'm going to stay with you so you don't crawl out of there again."

His face turned a familiar shade of crimson.


	2. Always | Lila & Saeran

**II**

**Always**

* * *

It was early evening when he began to stir awake once again.

I had taken it upon myself to drag him back to bed, and the moment that I pulled him back into bed, he rested his head against my shoulder and lost consciousness within minutes of that. Everyone was still getting used to not having to look over their shoulder and live in the moment as opposed to just taking all the time in the world to enjoy each other.

It was beyond pleasing to be able to just be here with him. Nobody was carting him away to toil in the darkness... not even himself. That realization hung heavy every night that we had been together since escaping. That first night, he hadn't been sure if he wanted to sleep in the same room as me. Now, there wasn't any fear to back that up logically, just the fact that he was nervous about sharing a space with me for the first time in a long time. I wound up laying on the spare bed and he sat down on the couch for a half hour.

Needless to say, I woke up the next morning with Saeran in my bed.

It had stayed that way ever since then. I wasn't going to complain about it; When he and I were not the same room or close enough to each other where we could see one another, the separation anxiety got too strong. Saeran would start to disconnect with the world, fearing the worst, and thinking he was back at Mint Eye, and my chest would start to beat hurriedly, fearful of his safety and wellbeing. We were working on that... but since the closeness wasn't suffocating, we were fine being as close as we could be for now.

Thinking about everything... we tended to do that together, plan for what our next steps could be, and work from there. Yet, there were still a lot of things left unspoken. While he slept, I could think about all of these things, and everything else that was weighing on my mind.

In retrospect, the moments when I was awake and Saeran was asleep, those were the times that I really could think for myself and realize just how much had happened to him- and just how much had happened to me. It had been mere weeks ago that I had been in my own apartment, watching the rain pour down from my window, all alone. I spent those days longing for something that I could not have. Yet, today, I was here with Saeran Choi of all people, in his twin brother's bunker waiting for him to arise from his slumber.

I just laid there and thought about how all of this could have happened. Never did I once figure out the answer, as it was left abandoned often in the back of my mind so I could focus on other things.

However it all happened, it somehow sorted itself out in a way that worked to the benefit of Saeran and myself. He was out of Mint Eye once and for all, and he could make his own choices. I had found out the long-awaited answer to my question but it cost me a relationship with my family, but I had gained a new family in the process.

As had Saeran.

The RFA was so much better than I had thought. My just talking with them in the chatroom had been nothing compared to what it felt like to stand face to face with everyone, they had shown me all of the compassion in the world, and took me in without question. They took one look at Saeran and ignored the fact that he had hacked the chatroom, and took him with open arms as they would have with his brother. Even as we held our breath, Saeran couldn't deny that he had felt nervous about coming face to face with the RFA. I could recall that moment with vivid clarity as it had been the first time that Saeran and I had come into contact with people that weren't hellbent on destroying us.

Jumin and Jaehee took him without question, and he got to work after the small formalities. Yoosung and Zen were working hard on their own tasks, but I shared a few words with them as well, and that was that. There was no mention of what we had just left, only talk of what we had to do, and what we were going to do for Saeyoung. I had been awed by how easy it was for them to just accept us in spite of everything... even though I had known that they would never have turned either of us away, it was still amazing to see how big their hearts could be.

They knew that deep down, even someone like Saeran could be good... just like I had. I smiled inwardly and ran my fingers through his white hair mindlessly back and forth. Before I met him, I would never have let myself get so close to another guy like this. I had just gravitated to him so naturally that I surprised even myself when I took a lot of the first steps. For a girl with crippling panic attacks that spring up at the worst times, I had somehow been able to let myself trust people again.

Would he ever know how grateful I was for him... for Ray... Saeran... all of him? I hope he knew that.

I then noticed that the rise and fall of his chest had changed, the once repetitive motion that had followed to the beat of his heart, was now a little quickened from that. Oh, he wasn't asleep anymore, but he hadn't made himself known. "Hey, I know you're awake," I found speaking up, "Are you pretending to be asleep so I keep doing this?"

"Mmm," he gave a hum in response.

"That doesn't answer the question. I won't stop, though, if you like it. I don't think you've been able to sleep this long before... at least, not in a while. Do you feel a little better now that you've slept?" I asked.

He opened his half-lidded eyes and stared at me. "How long did you let me sleep, Lila?"

"Couple of hours...  _tops_. I figured you wouldn't mind in the end."

Saeran sighed but nodded his head. It seemed like he felt a little better after a bit of rest, and that was the least that I could ask for. "Yeah. I feel a lot better now, considerably. I'm so used to running on no sleep that I didn't realize that it could catch up to me as it could. Thanks for making sure I didn't hurt myself earlier."

"Of course, I would never let that happen," I said, cocking my head just enough to brush my lips against his cheek. "You haven't let me go since I got you back into bed. I wasn't going anywhere but right here with you."

Saeran smiled, but the look didn't seem to reach his eyes. It seemed like there was something that he wanted to ask but he couldn't quite work up to that big courage to do it. He waited for a moment and then finally asked. "Did anything strange happen to me earlier, Lila? I can't seem to recall everything that happened."

"...Oh," I hesitated, and then told him the truth. "Ray was out for a little while."

Saeran was strangely quiet as he took that information in. It probably hit him that he wasn't as put together as he wanted to believe, and while that must have bothered him, it wasn't like Ray had done anything out of line. He had just popped out because Saeran was overwhelmed with everything. I figured that's how he had been crafted in the process of his trauma. Gaps of his memory were lost to whichever personality ruled his body at the time, even if they were trying to work together as a system now.

"I see. I thought I meant it when I said Saeran and Ray... were one." He rested his hand against the back of my head. His fingers tangled betwixt the loose curls, and he shut his eyes, sighing.

"With all of your anxiety and exhaustion lately, I guess he was the one who came out when you felt so awful so you wouldn't have to deal with the brunt of it, Saeran, after all, isn't that what he did in the first place?" I explained, leaning my body into his grasps. "His voice was just stronger this morning. I'm sure that's going to happen every now and again... but there's nothing wrong with that."

"Thank you... for understanding. Anyone else would have left by now... but you're still here with me."

"Of course, silly, I told you, I'll always be right here by your side."

* * *

**Wisteria has entered the chatroom.**

**Wisteria:**  Oh, is nobody online?

 **Wisteria:** This hasn't happened before.

 **Wisteria:** I guess everyone is busy with their own work.

 **Wisteria:** Huh.

**Yoosung has entered the chatroom.**

**ZEN has entered the chatroom.**

**Yoosung:** Hey, Lila!

 **ZEN:** Hey, you stole my line.

 **Yoosung:** You should have typed faster, then!

 **Zen:** How are you, Lila?

 **Wisteria:** I'm fine, guys.

 **Wisteria:** I've been with Saeran most of the day.

 **ZEN:** She's definitely in good hands then.

 **Yoosung:** Did you really make him sleep all day?

 **Wisteria:** ୧༼✿ ͡◕ д ◕͡ ༽୨

 **Wisteria:** He was no match for my puppy dog eyes.

 **Wisteria:** Are you doing alright yourself, Zen? I haven't heard from you in a few days.

 **ZEN:** I'm flattered you were worried about me, Jagiya!

 **ZEN:** I have just been busy with the play, and yesterday was the first time that I got to sit back and catch my breath.

 **Wisteria:** Of course, you earned it!

 **Yoosung:** (;•͈́༚•͈̀) Lucky.

 **Wisteria:** Hey, you volunteered to help Jumin and Jaehee, Yoosung.

 **Wisteria:** You should have known they would have roped you into being a babysitter.

 **ZEN:** You just keep that furball far away from me.

 **Yoosung:** She's not with me now, I'm back at my apartment.

 **Yoosung:** Finally trying to get some food... aaaaaa.

 **Wisteria:** That's good to hear! If you said you hadn't had anything I was going to march over there and make sure you did!

 **Wisteria:** I have to make sure that Saeran remembers to eat too.

 **Wisteria:** =͟͟͞͞( •̀д•́))) You boys have such bad habits! It makes me so angry!

 **ZEN:**  Ooooh, you're in trouble, Yoosung.

 **Yoosung:** （ΟΔΟ；；）Forgive me! I won't do it again!

 **Wisteria:** ɾ ▿ ɹ

 **Wisteria:** Good boy!

 **ZEN:** lmao lmao lmao

 **Yoosung:** ((((*｡_｡)_

 **Yoosung:** Somehow, I feel worse for Saeran.

 **Wisteria:** Oh, he always listens to me when I have a good point.

 **Wisteria:** Although... he usually kisses me before I get onto him.

 **Wisteria:**  (´꒳`)

 **Yoosung:** Lucky.

 **Wisteria:** Oh, do you want a kiss from Saeran too, Yoosungie?

 **ZEN:** (ಡ艸ಡ)

 **Wisteria:** (ಡ艸ಡ)

 **Yoosung:** WHAT

 **Yoosung:** no no no no n o

 **Yoosung:** He's not my type of guy—

 **Wisteria:**  Oh, I know your type of guy. (ಡ艸ಡ)

 **Yoosung:**  LILA NO

 **Wisteria:**  I swore to not tell don't worry—

 **ZEN:** OH?

 **ZEN:** Tell me, Lila.

 **ZEN:** Yoosung needs all the help he can get. ;)

 **Wisteria:** Oh, well...

**Saeran has entered the chatroom.**

**Yoosung:** Saeran!

 **Saeran:** Oh, here you are, Lila.

 **Wisteria:** Oops.

 **Wisteria:**  Um, were you looking for me?

 **Yoosung:** Thank goodness, saved by Saeran.

 **Saeran:**? ? ?

 **Yoosung:** It's nothing!

 **Saeran:**...Alright.

 **Saeran:** I was wondering where you went.

 **Saeran:** Usually when I can't find you, you're in the chatroom.

 **Wisteria:** I'm outside! I'm not that far from the front door, Saeran.

 **Wisteria:** I haven't really done that since we got here since we've been so busy trying to put everything back together. I used to close myself up in my apartment but I just can't do that to myself anymore.

 **Saeran:**...I understand.

 **Saeran:** It makes sense that you would

 **Wisteria:** No, no, no, no, no!

 **Wisteria:** Oh, no. It's not because of that, Saeran!

 **Wisteria:**  ( •⌄• ू )✧ I just wanted to watch the sunset.

 **Saeran:** Oh.

 **Saeran:** Then... you wouldn't mind if I joined you, would you?

 **Wisteria:** Of course not!

 **Wisteria:** Wait.

 **Wisteria:**...Saeran, have you been standing behind me this entire time?

 **Wisteria:** I can feel you behind me, sir!

 **Saeran:** Only for a few minutes.

 **Saeran:** I couldn't help it... you were humming that song again... and I didn't want to stop you.

 **Saeran:** I love the way your voice sounds.

 **Wisteria:** (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄

 **Wisteria:** NEXT TIME TELL ME YOU'RE THERE!

 **Saeran:** Are you embarrassed?

**Wisteria:** _Saeran Choi!_

**Wisteria has left the chatroom.**

**Saeran:** Oh, I think I'm in trouble now.

**Saeran has left the chatroom.**

**Yoosung:** (っ- ‸ – ς)

 **Yoosung:** Those two are really something.

 **Yoosung:**  I wish I had someone like that.

 **ZEN:** I'm almost jealous of them too.

 **ZEN:** But I am happy for them... all things considered, whatever they went through at that place where Saeran was tortured... and now with the Prime Minister and Luciel...

 **ZEN:** I think they deserve the chance to just be a normal couple.

 **Yoosung:** Yeah.

 **ZEN:** Saeran has been pretty quiet but I've noticed he's been popping into the chatroom more frequently.

 **Yoosung:** It's only when Lila's online though!

 **ZEN:** Well, he really doesn't know how to talk to people... at least that's what Lila said.

 **ZEN:** I still feel pretty dumb when he's so coolheaded.

 **Yoosung:**  He's nothing like Seven. That's for sure.

 **Yoosung:** I can't really tell what he's thinking.

 **Zen:** It's a nice change of pace to Luciel's antics... I never thought he would have a brother, much less a guy like Saeran.

 **Yoosung:** Yeah... I'm sure he'd be happy to know that his brother is doing great with us now.

 **Zen:** And he can thank us, and especially Lila when he gets back.

 **Yoosung:** Yeah! You're right!

 **Yoosung:** Speaking of family... Lila and I were talking about her family, when I spoke with her last she told me that she hadn't been in contact with any of her family back in America since she got wrapped in this mess. She said she really missed her sister, but they had a spat or something.

 **Zen:** Huh. She mentioned that to me in passing once, too.

* * *

"You're lucky I love you, and—" her words were caught in her throat as she gasped. Lila whipped her head around and stared up at him, as her eyes flickered between confusion and mystery at his sudden change in appearance. She shoved her phone back into her pocket and sprang up to her feet; Lila reached out and brushed her hands against his now very red locks, pursing her lips. "What the heck did you do to your hair, Saeran?"

What had he done, indeed?

While Lila had left him to take care of a few things, he had made the rash decision to do something that might have hurt him more then it did well. The last time that he had messed with his hair, he had haphazardly and angrily doused his locks in lightener. It had taken him a few attempts to try and get all of the red out, and what he had been left with was whiteish locks with the faintest hint of pink tips. Now, his hair was back to what it had been before he had tried to destroy every ounce of his identity.

It was time for a new start.

If he wanted to be able to find his past self, then he had to start by living as he once did. His hair was now back to being as red as it had once been only a few years ago. It also served as a constant reminder of the person that he had to save. Saeran raised his hand to his own hair to brush his bangs out of his eyes. "It's something... to remind me that I need to save Saeyoung. I can't exactly avoid it if I see my own reflection like this, you know what I mean?" he murmured.

Lila's brown eyes softened at the mention of his brother. She took Saeran's hand in her own and smiled at him. "You didn't have to do something like that, Saeran, you know very well that we're going to save him no matter what."

He felt better knowing that she was assured of him no matter what. However, he still had doubts about himself. After Ray had come out, he had realized that he needed to make a better effort to work with his system. His identity was still this kind of a blur, where bits of pieces of himself were still fragmented into two beings, but this part of him was still a work in progress. This would give him the chance to pick what he wanted to looked like, who he wanted to be, and it all started with the choice to be able to do this.

However, it meant a lot to him to know that Lila liked the way that he looked. Often, he would shudder at the sight of his own body in the mirror. The way his eyes had darkened underneath his lids from staring at computers all day and night, the way that his bones jaunt out of his body, the unhealthy pallor to his skin, his unkempt hair, his voice, his clothes, and worst of all, he couldn't decide which of those features he didn't like the most. There was no turning off that frame of mind.

Lila had often mentioned that she felt the same when she got a glimpse of herself in mirrors. She often saw the imperfections in herself that he would have never noticed. Maybe... maybe it was the same for her as it was for him. She saw what he didn't see in himself, and vice versa.

With her eyes on him, he wasn't sure what to say.

"You don't like it?" was the most that he could muster.

Lila only laughed, shaking her head. She leaned up on the tips of her toes to steal a kiss from his lips. "I think it suits you, Saeran. It doesn't really matter to me what you look like, just that you like what you look like!" She hummed, "Although, this definitely means that the redhead is my favorite person in this game now."

She was teasing him about some of the sour words that had left his mouth in the past. Back then, he would have been upset and scared to hear that she liked his brother more than him, but hearing these words now did not upset him. It made him feel like he was normal. It felt like he was at ease when she said she loved him. Her laughter never completely subsided.

"Are you sure about that, princess?" he countered, leaning down to rest his forehead against hers. "You know how that answer makes me feel. You should know better than to say that. That wasn't your answer the first time around, now was it, Lila? What exactly was it that you said back then? I know you remember."

Lila paused to grasp his sleeves and bring his attention to her and only her; She opened her eyes and stared into his green ones. "Tell me, how do I pursue you, Ray?" she purred.

Saeran felt his heart skip a beat. "Did you figure out the answer to that question?"

Rather than answering that question, she brushed her lips against his to steal a kiss, and another, and another, and then another in a row. It was the kind of repetitive and lingering kiss that stole the threatened to steal the air from your lungs because you refused to budge. Lila wouldn't let him go, and he refused to let her go free from his grasp. With no words whatsoever, she gave him the very answer that he was looking for, and a lot more than what he expected to receive.

"Does that answer your question?" she said, upon pulling away and blinking her eyes innocently. "Or do I need to take it from the top?"

"Maybe one more time, just to be sure."

"Sure thing, honey."

* * *

 


	3. Temporary Bliss | Lila

**III**

**Temporary Bliss**

* * *

It was strange to find myself in Saeyoung Choi's apartment of all places to be, and it was even more unbelievable that I was sitting in it with his brother, Saeran. I still wasn't used to this place but it was feeling more and more like a home to me, and I think that Saeran was warming up to it as well. After the overhaul and sprucing up, it managed to look more like a place you want to be rather than a hacker's dungeon that was walled off to the world made for solitary confinement.

The only thing that is really needed would be windows that actually let in the light of the sun and moon. However, the way that this place was set up to protect from all defenses humanly possible, that wasn't fixable. Beggars can't be choosers, that's what always say.

It had been a few weeks now.

I had adjusted as well as I could but it was hard to wrap my mind around everything that had happened.

Nothing had really changed as far as our mission but the determination to locate Seven had not wavered for a moment these few weeks; He was always in the back of our minds. When I found myself stopping to catch a breath I would think about him and what kind of trouble he might have been in. I hoped that he was alright; Everyone did. It wasn't for a lack of trying on anyone's part. Jumin's company was doing a lot, and Saeran was with them either on sight or remotely from the bunker, making sure that things were running as smoothly as they needed to be.

It was just exhausting to keep working and not be getting where you wanted to be.

No information... no leads... nothing.

Most of my time was spent in the background making sure that everyone was keeping it together while. Whatever spare time that I had left was used studying. I rightly looked like a mad scientist with books and notes littering the table in front of me, and hair tucked back into a messy bun just to keep it out of the way. It was kind of embarrassing to blunder my way through Korean, so I had started trying to actually sit down and learn it like I should have been doing a long time ago to save myself a headache.

Though, how was I supposed to know that I would wind up here? With my face stuffed in a book, I didn't notice Saeran creeping up from my left. His hand rested against my shoulder and I tightened, lifting my head to look back at him. It was still something to see the smallest quirk of a smile at the edge of his lips. If anything, he looked horribly amused by my very frustrated expression.

I narrowed my eyes. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Oh, it's nothing. How are your studies going?"

My expression fell flat. I pressed my face into the book and let out a little inward groan. "I should have paid more attention in high school, that's how my studies are going. My brain feels like alphabet soup staring at all of this now. Saeran, you and Seven are unbelievable... you know that, right? Your brains work like computers and the rest of can't keep up."

He pursed his lips. "Necessity is a means that pushes you to work hard. There wasn't really any choice in the matter but to learn it. I can't speak for him but I had to learn fast to please. I can help you with this, you know that, right?"

Yeah. I hadn't thought of that, all things considered. They really didn't have a lot of choice but to be as smart as they were; there wasn't an option to do anything else with the agency or Rika breathing down their necks all day long. It still didn't seem easy to think that they took to it so naturally.

I set my book down against the table and shook my head. "I know, I know. I just don't want to put you in that position all the time. I want to be able to communicate with everyone since I'm staying here, and I need to be able to speak more than just broken Korean if I want to be able to stop being such a hindrance. I might like to dress like I'm a cute doll my weekends but that doesn't mean I want others to help me and coddle me when I'm more than capable of helping myself."

"Yeah, you're stubborn like that." he sighed a little and chuckled. "I should have known."

"You're one to talk, mister, that's calling the kettle black, Saeran. It took way too long for you to let help you out when you needed it, remember?" Rising from my chair and pushing it back underneath the table, I crossed my arms over my chest in rebuff.

"I think it's only fair that I make a little difficult for you this go around. You know, just for old times sake, and all. That's the game of cat and mouse we're always playing. Plus, I'll gladly be stubborn a little longer just so I know you're not overworking yourself  _again_."

With a soft poke to his shoulder, I let out a little huff.

Saeran rubbed the spot, sighing at the motion.

"I'm not," he said. "I've learned my lesson the last time."

"I didn't think you'd shoot up like a rocket when I made sure you had a blanket at your desk, to be fair. It's bad for your back to sleep in your chair but I wasn't gonna let you catch a cold!"

It had been another all-nighter and Saeran hadn't come to bed. I tossed and turned most of the night with worry for his regard. I wound up crawling out of bed around four in the morning to check on him and he had fallen asleep with his face firmly planted into the desk and body slumped forward. Letting out a sigh at the time, I pressed my lips to his temple and then set a blanket over his back.

He instantly seized and sat up, worriedly looking around for a monster that wasn't in the room.

I gasped and stepped back, apologizing profusely.

He had been mortified that he had fallen asleep in the first place. But, nearly knocking me over had made him far from the exhaustion that had once taken over. We had a laugh about it later in the day but...

He really needed to take care of himself.

Saeran rubbed his face.

"I'll try to come to bed tonight." he murmured, defeated.

I smiled. "You will come to bed tonight," I corrected him.

"I will," he corrected himself.

"Anyways, how's it going with the intelligence unit? You've been awake since this pretty early this morning. I was just about to ask you to take a break from it because I don't think you've eaten yet."

Saeran glanced away. It was like he didn't answer that question. "There was a lead that we had to trace out. I thought it was going to be a big one so I chased it until I couldn't anymore. However, it was a dead-end by the time I got to the source. I've been trying to look more into his partner since I hit the end, but that's got even less information now. They're really just erased as much as possible once they're in with these intel groups."

I couldn't help but grimace. That was at least the third time that had happened to them. It was hard when people sent in-joke leads or thought they saw something but it was wrong. It was like getting the hopeful fruit only be it to be rotten in the center. "Ugh,  _again_? Hackers are frustrating, you guys wipe the slate too clean for your own good. I guess I should have known it would be even harder to try and look for anything about his partner. Vanderwood is more of an enigma than Seven, as far as I know, and I don't know that much about them besides their alias and a visual description."

"Sometimes that's a good thing, Lila," Saeran said, pointedly. "As long as you're hidden that means your enemies can't find you, but it means that your friends and family can't find you either. It's a double-edged sword. You've at least given us his codename and what to look for, and that's something to go off of better than what we had before which was absolutely nothing because that intel was already wiped from his agency's headquarters by the time I got into it."

I frowned, I understood what he was saying. It just was frustrating because, with everything that I knew and everyone that I knew, I still didn't know everything. I couldn't do what I wanted to do. "I wish I knew more that was actually useful for this situation. Nothing that I know about the RFA and everyone else doesn't give me anything that could lead us anywhere. With as long as I've been gone then it's possible that there might be an answer to this path that we're on. But I know it's too risky going back there to find out. If only the game would just... work as it should here. We could know something."

Leaning forwards I enveloped him into a hug and buried my face in his chest. My words were a little muffled as I spoke but he got the gist of it.

"I'm personally glad that you  _don't_  have any clues for this mess," he said. There was unspoken meaning to that. We weren't the only two that had their hands on information that could make or break the RFA and the lock that he had placed on it only had a matter of time until it as cracked and that problem came back to bite them. Ray had made it clear that he was going to think about opening it up again to see if we could find any clues, but Saeran hadn't been one to agree with that plan.

He thought it was a bad idea all around.

While I didn't disagree with that statement, and that the fact of the matter was, this game had caused more trouble than it was worth to a lot of us. It was better that it never be touched again, but we didn't really have the liberty to make that choice. It was one thing to take the high ground because you knew it was the right thing to do, but it was another when the threat had that information as well, and they wouldn't hesitate to use that intel to get what they wanted out of it.

I knew that it wasn't any better than her to want to do the same thing, even if my intentions were pure. But, knowing that she would act if I didn't, made me want to be as many steps ahead of her as we could get. It was this unsaid argument that we were having every now and again. When things would get to that point of desperation I would suggest it and he would want to step back.

It had been jarring for him to see himself so lost on the drugs. Seeing that had been one of the reasons why he had been able to snap out of his training, the power that had been offered to him wasn't what he wanted and that scarred him back to the light. If that had been me seeing myself... I don't know how it would affect me either.

So, I understood why he why was hesitant and tried to respect his feelings on the matter as often as I could; I just wanted to be realistic about the situation at the same time.

My eyes sank to the ground.

"You guy have been trying so hard lately to find him. I can't imagine how frustrated you are, and how exhausting it is to keep hitting walls over and over again. I know this is painful but sooner or later, we'll find something that will give us the answer be if it from leads or whatever. I just... I wish that I could make things easier on everyone, that's all. I have all this knowledge but it doesn't make me useful in bringing him back. I just want to know that I've done all I can for you... erm, everyone.

He rested his hands against my shoulders.

I lifted my head to meet those green eyes.

"I know you're frustrated with this too. You've always cared about everyone, and you want to make things better but as I told you before, we're not going to find anything in that game that would make any difference to this timeline we're living in. Nothing in it was any good... just nightmares and realities that I won't let happen no matter what. I'm going to keep working the way that  _I know how_  until there's no other option left besides that  _one_  and that's my final say on that, Lila."

Saeran was blunt with saying that and I knew this conversation was over now. He pulled away, not saying much else. I knew it was over and I should let it go this time.

This was the only thing that Saeran and I had issues with, and while knowing anything could have helped, I knew that it bothered him enough to make his psyche crack in the first place which is what brought him back to me. It was scary to think about those timelines; I trusted in him, and if I just committed to that belief, sooner or later, we would find him.

Unfortunately, this wouldn't be the last time that we had this conversation.

"Alright... I'll drop it. Now," my smile was weak but I didn't lose it. A tiny spat was nothing compared to how I felt seeing him out of the darkness. "How's about lunch?"

* * *

_"Do you think she's okay?"_

_"I don't think it's our place to question a lady's habits, Yoosung."_

_"But, that's her third ice cream tonight. Do you think something happened with Saeran? My sister used to drown her feelings in ice cream whenever something happened with her boyfriends... do you think that they had a fight or something? I mean, they looked normal and touchy-feely for as far as I know when they got here but..."_

_"if she doesn't want to talk about it then we shouldn't bother her about it. If a lady wants to discuss her day then she would tell us first, especially when she's well... doing that. "_

_"Yeah, but it's... awkward, Zen."_

_"...You're not wrong._ "

Lila twitched. She could hear those boys talking behind her back and while she didn't catch every word one hundred percent, she could break it down enough that she could tell more or less what they meant with rough guessing. If they wanted to ask her about how she was feeling then they should have just asked instead of talking in earshot! She picked up her phone and rattled off a text to the two of them, staring right over at them from her spot at the table. The two of them were sitting back and chatting on the couch.

They were hanging back in one of the cushy C&R rooms. It had become pretty common for the RFA to congregate together much more often now, and more often than not, it would be at C&R because it had the most security and it was easier to avoid press and people that could bother them. While Saeran and the others were hard at work, it wasn't much of a stretch for them to wind up not far away.

It had started when Saeran had gone back and forth to C&R the first few times, and Lila, not wanting to be alone or without Saeran, would tag along behind and offer to do whatever she could, and the others just kind of followed suit. There was strength in numbers... and the RFA was its own family that worked better when the parts were together.

Even if some of those parts were... ridiculous.

She tapped her phone as she waited for them to hear the beeping tone. When they did, both Yoosung and Zen stared at their phones and then looked over at Lila, a bit mortified that they had been discovered.

**Wisteria:** You guys know I can hear everything you're saying, right? Just because I can't understand it one hundred percent doesn't mean I don't know what you're saying.

**Yoosung:** Um.

**ZEN:**  Er.

**Wisteria:** Ahem.

**Wisteria:** Spit it out, boys.

**ZEN:** Are you okay?

**Yoosung:** Yeah, are you...?

**Wisteria:** Yeah, I'm fine.

**Zen:**  ...Are you sure about that?

**Wisteria:** Guys, don't just make something out of nothing for fun.

**Wisteria:** I'm just abusing the kindness of one Jumin Han and the ability to eat whatever sweets I want with no tag attached.

**Wisteria:** (´꒳`)

**Yoosung:** （o□o）

**ZEN:** （￣へ￣）

**Wisteria:** Don't deny you wouldn't do it if you had the chance.

**Wisteria:**...Saeran wouldn't admit it but he's guilty of the same thing. I mean, c'mon, the man has access to the best people.

**Wisteria:** Anyways! This wasn't to throw him and me under the bus with our bad habits. I'm fine, guys. I appreciate the concern and worry over me and Saeran.

**Wisteria:** That's what you were worried about right?

**Wisteria:** All is well and fine for both of us. Do we have to be making goo-goo eyes twenty-four seven for you to believe that?

**Yoosung:** N

**Yoosung:** No!

**Wisteria:** Good. Because I'm more than happy to go and do that if that's the proof you need to know I'm alright.

**Yoosung:** It's fine- I'm just glad to hear it's okay.

**Yoosung:** If you say so.

**ZEN:** Alright. I didn't want to assume!

**Wisteria:** You guys haven't really been around this past week.

**Wisteria:** It's been like this more or less every other day. What's been up?

**ZEN:** Since we're nearing the tail end of the production of the musical, shows have picked up. I've spent much of my time on the stage, the playhouse has been filled to the brim every night.

**Wisteria:** I heard the raving reviews for your play, Zen. You've been doing really well! I should have known they were eating you up.

**ZEN:** Of course, jagiya. ;)

**Wisteria:** It's a shame everyone's been too busy to drop by and watch.

**ZEN:** There are always seats for the RFA to witness my beautiful face.

**Wisteria:** Haha... even Jumin?

**ZEN:**  ... Even Jumin.

**Yoosung:** ( ´艸｀)

**Wisteria:**  (✿˘艸˘✿)

**Wisteria:** Well, you can't help but be busy with that. Just as Saeran and the others are with their own projects.

**Yoosung:** What he's doing is still...  _unbelievable_.

**ZEN:** He and Seven... they're beasts at computers.

**ZEN:** I'm still clueless when it comes to what your boyfriend can do, I'm not much help in that regard.

**Yoosung:**  Yeah. I can't keep up with him either!

**Yoosung:**  I'm just glad we can ease up the workload for Jaehee and everyone every now and again.

**Wisteria:** What about you, Yoosung?

**Wisteria:** What've you been doing lately?

**Yoosung:** Finals... T^T

**Wisteria:** Oh, I'm so sorry. I was there once.

**Wisteria:** My condolences to your weary brain.

**ZEN:** One can only hope he's studying.

**Yoosung:** Of course I am, Zen! I need to pass!

**ZEN:**  Well, last I saw, you were playing your game...

**Yoosung:** Was not!

**ZEN:** You want the selfie to prove it to Lila or?

Lila giggled at the pair from across the room.

Figures they had been spending their time like that. They began to bicker back and forth about this and that, going back to their own conversation. She sighed wistfully and shook her head at their ridiculous antics. It was really no surprise that those two lugs would fall back into their routine. They were such goofballs, even if she hadn't known them for long, they always wound up going back and forth with each other with a playful tone.

It was reassuring, at least.

Zen and Yoosung were always this big dose of reality. They were grounding and reminded her that she wasn't just surrounded by just impossible beasts of intelligence and wealth. They were just as ordinary as she was, and that... that was a breath of fresh air. Setting her phone down on her lap, she paid them no more mind knowing that things were alright.

The tension had calmed down a lot from where it had been when they first got together. People were still abuzz about everything surrounding the Prime Minister, and all, but the media height had dwindled just enough that they could walk around without worry. Well, as easy as they could with their personal issues. It wasn't often that she and Saeran left the house without covering their faces and dressing just right to avoid any prying eyes. There were enough hints and vague quotes that gave away some of the descriptors of the twins.

Saeran stuck out like a sore thumb with his hair no matter if it were red or white.

So, they did what they could.

Speaking of Saeran, he would be working right now with the others. Jumin and Jaehee had taken a step back with Saeran at the helm, but they were still as involved as they could be. So much of the details had to be taken care of with precision, and that could only be done with the collective efforts of their heads put together. The pieces were lining up as they needed to, however, it wouldn't be settled for sure until Saeyoung was back. Whenever that was going to be, hopefully soon.

Otherwise, Saeran was going to keep those purple rings around his eyes. She let out a wistful sigh. He was going to get some rest this weekend or she was going to have a big complaint to file. At least he had the choice of working when he wanted to instead of when someone wanted it of him, thanks to Jumin Han.

Perhaps she could talk him into taking the weekend for themselves. They were doing everything that they could, and they couldn't just pretend that things were okay, but that didn't mean that they had to be miserable the entire time they worked to find the answers. It was okay to take time for themselves, it was okay for Saeran to be selfish...

just the smallest amount.

The most that he had done for himself since the incident was dyeing his hair back to what it once was, and that hadn't been an entirely selfish desire on his part.

Lila pursed her lips.

What could she do to coax him into a break? Perhaps she could peruse the internet and find some secluded spot for just the two of them. It had been forever since they had seen nature... or gardens... It brought back the fondest memories. After all, some of the best times they had with one another were outside and far from the inside.

That could be a good idea, she thought.

Unfortunately, it seemed as though the peace of the last few weeks was just temporary.

She went to go and grab her phone from her lap but paused when it buzzed.

Lila stopped in her tracks and looked at the sudden notification. She didn't get messages from anyone besides the RFA. Nobody else could get in touch with her because of the situation, so the fact that she had a text from someone she didn't know left her feeling on edge. She glanced over at Zen and Yoosung, and then back at her phone.

She clicked the preview and opened the text window full screen and in the process let out a scream when the message came into view. The device slipped from her hands and collided with the ground with a loud thud.

Both Yoosung and Zen were instantly brought out of their conversation. They were quick to rush to her side to see what was wrong but Lila didn't say anything to either of them... she just kept staring at her phone with wide, terrified eyes. They tried to ask her what was wrong but she wouldn't move a muscle; Her breath had slowed down nearly to the point where she was barely doing it.

" _Lila, what's wrong_?"

" _What did you see_?"

" _I got a text_..." her voice was soft and petrified.

Zen shook his head, incredulous. " _What kind of text_?"

" _The text_..." she repeated, the haunted look in her eyes as she shook her head, and the word sharp and broken in her throat. " _My... it's... my..."_

" _Who... who is it? You have to give us a hint or something so we can help._ " Zen cursed inwardly, this time gently trying with insistence to learn on what seemed to have startled her so badly.

He was gentle as he could be but she was too scared to cooperate. Lila covered her mouth with her hands and shook her head. She didn't seem to want to confirm what she had seen with words. She didn't want it to be real or happening. " _No... No... No... it can't be... no... isn't happening... can't be happening... no... no..._ "

Yoosung picked up the phone and stared at the message that had caused her to be so rightly frightened in the first place. He nearly dropped the device himself, looking at it in horror before moving it to show to Zen. His eyes widened in surprise as well, unsure of what to say about it. He didn't have to, the shock was written all over his face just as it was on Yoosung's.

It was a photograph of a woman with short blonde curls, gagged, and with diluted brown eyes from some sort of drug.

The woman in the photograph looked familiar, and it didn't take much suspicion on their part to figure out that the woman in the photograph had to be the sister that Lila had mentioned to them on numerous occasions. She looked a lot like their friend, with her freckles and her eyes being the same color that Lila had. It was jarring to see without any context to what or why this was sent but there was a small message underneath it that laid the groundwork for context.

**[OUR FAMILY WILL BE COMPLETE SOON. REST EASY, LILA.]**

Just as quickly as the message arrived and before Yoosung or Zen could screenshot the message, it disappeared just as quickly as it had appeared on the device. Zen and Yoosung shared another look, it was worried and fearful for their new friend. Yoosung snapped out of the stupor quickly, realizing that whatever was happening was bad and they needed to do something. He just didn't know what they could do other than to—

" _We need to tell Saeran about this._ " he stammered.

Zen agreed fast. He sprang to his feet and looked as though he was about to run across the hall. He spared Lila a worried look, but then shook his head and gathered his strength. " _I- I'm going to tell them what happened, you stay here with her, Yoosung._ "

He was left to console his friend who was on the brink of hyperventilating.

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE.

Haha... hi guys. It's been a while, hasn't it? It's been a very hard summer for me but I found it in myself to finish this chapter. A lot happened, and while it wasn't all great, I came out of it alright. I hope the rest of you are doing well. Four months to the day exactly since I last posted. I didn't plan it that way but hey, it's funny how things work out.


	4. The Haunting | Saeran & Lucy

IV

**The Haunting.**

* * *

"It's just you and me right now, Lila. I need you to breathe with me. Slow and steady... alright? Just like the last time that you helped me. Can you do that for me?" Saeran told her in a hushed, quiet tone as gently as he could possibly manage without just accidentally triggering his own panic. It was one thing to be on the edge of a panic attack but it was another to try and help a loved one through it. He didn't know if he was doing anything but she stared at him, through the tears and her sharp gasps, and slowly nodded her head. He took in the first breath, and then she followed suit.

This reminded him of the last time he had a panic attack in front of her at Magenta and she had decidedly coached him through the whole thing without hesitation.

She had talked him through it over the phone.

It took all of five minutes to completely coax Lila out of it. Five minutes, much shorter than how long it had taken him but Lila was truly a trooper! The moment the clarity returned to her eyes she latched onto him and buried her face in his chest, the soft muffled sobs were much lighter now, but she was still very upset about what she had seen. He stayed like that until her breathing evened out and she passed out, it was far too much for Lila to withstand and it terrified Saeran to his core.

Nothing had quite done that to him in weeks like this. It was like a wake-up call to the disaster that he hadn't thought would come for him, no, for them. This was an attack on both of them. He hadn't thought for a moment that something worse was going to happen. How could they when they abandoned that place in such disarray?

It felt as though their plans had died then and there once they lost Saeran and Lila.

Saeran thought that things would stay calm until they located his brother, and then it would work itself out; But when Zen rushed into the room without any warning and a fiercely concerning look in his red eyes, he knew. Nobody had to say anything to him. For some strange reason, he just knew that it had to be something that happened to his Lila.

Why else would that happen?

Lila was always supposed to be safe with him. He promised that he would protect her from any more trouble that would ever arise. He had seemingly failed to do that. He was supposed to be strong and able to handle this. But the thought of her weeping and petrified made him feel so many things all at once he didn't know what to do.

 _She's in danger... I can't believe we couldn't do anything to stop this. I... I should have known they would try and use her sister too... we should have stopped that... what if they... what if they do something awful and Lila blames me... or blames us... what if she hates me forever... what if she hates you... or hates us both... what if she can't stand us anymore? What if she's going to leave? What if she... and... she..._ Ray's worries began to blur with his own. His mind whirling with all sorts of fears and conclusions that only reached terrible ends were all that he could imagine. It was all that Ray could imagine as well, this shock had been enough to unblur those lines between both of them uncomfortably so.

Saeran was almost in a catatonic haze himself until Chief Assistant Jaehee Kang touched his shoulder and snapped him out of it. He didn't have the luxury to feel panic, he didn't have the luxury to sit there and wallow because Lila was out there, in distress, and she needed him to be the strong one. He needed to take care of her as she did her best to take care of him.

With shaking legs he had stood up and hurried to her side as fast as he could.

Jaehee and Jumin were not long behind him.

Now that he had her in his arms, he felt as though he could truly calm down; And? He could look through her phone and try to restore the information that had been rigged away. Both Yoosung Kim and Zen had seen the same image that Lila had, and their stomachs were just as sick as hers was. Saeran could see it written all over their faces. " _Thank you,"_ he said in regards to the both of them. " _For taking care of Lila in my absence."_

" _Lila is our friend, too. She needed us. We wouldn't abandon her in her time of need... She's always been there for me, for us, and for you, Saeran. I never thought she was the kind of person that could get scared... but she was so scared. I hated seeing her like that. She just kept saying no over and over, and that the woman in the photo… she said that woman… was..._ " Yoosung trailed off, shivering at the memory. The woman that they had seen in the photo, who was she? It was the thought that couldn't leave his mind.

" _Whoever had that woman seemed to know about Lila's family, or they were planning on doing something to them. They said they were bringing her family together or something. It can't be a vendetta against Saeran… nobody knows about her and Saeran or that connection in the slightest. It has to be somebody that has something against her, specifically."_  Zen agreed.

 _"Lila doesn't seem like the kind of person to be involved in anything shady. However, we don't know everything about her past, so there could be things that could explain this,"_  Jumin mused.  _"I just wonder who would have something against a woman like her."_

" _Did she say who the woman was_ , _Yoosung?_ " Jaehee finally asked the question no one had dared yet ask.  _"If we know that then it might be easier to surmise what's coming after her now."_

" _It's her sister, I have a sinking suspicion it was Lucy,_ " Saeran supplied. " _It had to have been her sister, Lucy. She isn't close to the rest of her family like she is with her sister. It was... It was a blonde woman that the both of you saw on her phone, right?_ "

Everyone turned their heads to look at him and although he wasn't very happy to admit that fact, he knew that the only woman in the world that could have made Lila lose her cool like that would have been her sister. She loved her sister more than anything in the world. It would have to have been Lucy, and it burned him to the core and brought feelings that he hadn't felt in such a long time. He had thought that the anger that had been inside had subsided but it was still flickering like a ghost.

They hadn't given up and they had decided to bring Lucy into this mess as well. Lila had dealt with enough because of him, and because of Rika... nobody else deserved to be caught up in this mess.

Yoosung and Zen shared a look and then nodded their heads in confirmation.

"Yes," Zen said.

" _That's what I thought. She kept mumbling that name over and over again,_ " Yoosung murmured.  _"So... someone took her sister, and they're using her for some reason to taunt Lila. That's awful."_

All eyes in the room fell upon the unconscious American girl that truly, well they considered her a close friend now, most of them didn't know a lot about her background. She had always eluded to things and never touched the subject with anything more than an awkward laugh. They couldn't piece all of the puzzle pieces together while she was in a catatonic state.

Saeran couldn't exactly tell them that she was from a different Universe from the one that they were existing it at this current moment.

They would just look at him like he was crazy or something, but he also couldn't just tell them that she was from America because her information did not exist in this universe in any capacity whatsoever that would have ever been found. He knew that because he had already checked that.

The only person that could have possibly been after her sister what's the very person that he and she were trying to forget about and that all stemmed from the false paradise. She was still trying to build a Paradise despite the assumptions that both he and Lila had had that V had possibly gotten through to her and helped. Which they only assumed because of his own disappearance as of late; It seemed as though that he may have been in danger as well now that Lucy had been taken as well.

This was getting dangerous and there was seemingly no sign of it ending.

It would be impossible to keep the RFA in the dark for long. However, he needed to talk through with Lila and figure out the best path to follow... and she wasn't with him right now. He had never had so many people looking at him for answers. Nor did he expect that woman to ever go as far to make a move like this when her first plan failed the way that it did. Lila's sister didn't deserve to deal with this problem that had been started thanks to him.

With all eyes on him, Saeran sucked in a breath.

" _I'm going to look into the message, and hopefully I'll be able to trace where it came from. I'll see what I can track down first and then we'll deal with whatever I can scrounge up when I get ahold of the information."_

* * *

"What do you want from me? What is this place? Why the hell am I tied up?!"

"The answers will come in due time. First things first, why don't you tell me your name?"

Lucy stared at the light in front of herself. It distorted her view of the figure that was in front of her so much that she couldn't tell who they were. This voice wasn't familiar and she couldn't just guess who they were from a voice. All she knew was that her head was hurting and she wanted to get the hell out of here and away from these people. "If my Dad works for you people, or if he's in charge of you, then you already know what it is!"

She thrashed against the binds that were keeping her in place. She was in some kind of subterranean area, maybe a cellar or a basement. There was not an ounce of sunlight and the only thing she felt against her body was cold, hard concrete. It was all that she had felt for days. These people, whoever they were, they were not the type of people that she could trust.

The last thing that Lucy remembered before she awoke in this strange place was her father and the way his eyes had become so hardened.

Then, nothing. She simply found herself awake in this strange place and soon realized to her horror that things were worse then they seemed. Her hands, her body, her clothes... the texture on the walls, the people that came into the room every so often, the little rats that scurried across the floor.

Everything was... for the lack of a better word, two dimensional. It was like she was inside one of an anime, again, she didn't understand the how or why behind it, and no matter how hard she pinched herself or tried to shake herself awake, she never did regain her senses. It seemed as though everything that was happening was actually happening.

She was in a different world, and she didn't have any clues to explain it. Nobody came to see her or gave her any attention beside the bare minimum and her cries were left on deaf ears. All that was left was days or weeks of these strange people every so often dumping food unceremoniously. She was so very tired but she knew that she had to keep her strength up.

Whatever this place was, these people were disillusioned with some sort of Savior. She had watched enough true crime and documentaries to know what cults were, and how most of them ran. This guy had been talking about his Savior, and how important it was for her to submit to their questioning.

She wasn't going to go down that easily.

If Lucy could find a way out of here, then maybe it would be possible to figure out what the missing clues were. Why her Dad hasn't really been dead, why Lila had been missing, and why she had now been taken to this place.

Her only clue was her Dad.

She glared at the light. "I'm not answering any of these questions. I invoke my right to remain silent."

The man chuckled. " You just need to answer a few questions. There are a few things that we want to make sure of before you're properly adjusted. There isn't a trick about this. But, ah, that's a subject that they'll want to talk to you about, not me. It's been a while since you've had an adequate meal, correct? If you cooperate then I'll make sure you have something better tonight, how does that-"

"Look, I don't know what the hell you want from me, but I'm not going to play any of these games," she cut him off. She yanked against the cuff at her wrists but it just jangled and dug into her skin. "My name is Lucy Lancelot. I'm twenty-two, and I don't have anything else to say to you. I'm tired of this nonsense and the long con. Where the hell is my Dad so I can talk to him? I know he's somewhere in this godforsaken place. He's the only person that I'm going to talk to. You understand that, buddy?"

The man sighed, shaking his head. "The Special Missionary appreciates the requests to see him but he is busy at the moment with much more important tasks, Miss Lucy. He's a very busy man and he can't waste his time on this. That's why he made me in charge of your case. Now, can you answer another question for me?"

"Like hell, I will not be doing that. Why don't you go to hell, instead?"

That comment seemed to be the end of the man's patience. He looked as though he was going to do something but suddenly, as if by a blessing or by perchance, the door opened from the side of the room and a harmonious voice rang through the air. It was soft and poised, the sound like a chime of a bell and was much sweeter to the gruff man. "Oh, dear, you've gone and chained her up like she's some criminal, haven't you? I thought Claude would have known better than to do such a thing. We can't have that... that just makes us look like criminals. We're far from the sort. Let her hands go free, alright? Lucy is our honored guest in paradise."

"But... my Savior," the man trailed off.

She was quiet but the aura in the room was very imposing.

"Yes, of course."

Lucy's hands were freed from their chains and the bright light was finally switched off. Her mind was swirling and her vision was still fairly blurry from the shock of pure darkness to the bright light. She rubbed at her eyes until they felt as though they had adjusted to the lighting in the room. It was still fairly dark but she could make out the face of the woman. She was as short as her little sister, and her hair was as blond as Lucy's was. Something about her felt strangely familiar but she couldn't put a finger on it.

"I'm very sorry about them," she expressed. "I didn't realize that Claude had gone to the trouble of making such a mess of things. You were never meant to wind up here in the basement, my dear Lucy."

"Who... are you?" Lucy found her voice once again and decided to skip straight to the point. The man had called her the savior, and that meant that she may have been one of the ones in charge.

The smile on her lip was ominous. "I'm no one, really. I suppose that you could think of me as a... philanthropist. Yes, that's the word. I'm just someone who wants the best for others."

And throwing people into a dungeon is the best for them? Lucy wanted to say but she couldn't find the will to do so. If she wanted to understand more about this place then she had to keep on her toes. It was hard when she had such spitfire anger inside of her heart when she was pressed too hard but this was a chance to learn.

"Alright," Lucy said, carefully. "And would you mind my asking why I'm here?"

She reached out and pressed a firm hand against Lucy's shoulder. Her smile never left her face but it didn't reach her eyes. "In due time, as for now... I'd love for you to join me. It must have been very dreadful to spend so much time down here with these brutes. You must be very tired of this ordeal. Allow me to show you a much cozier suite. It's the least that I can do after all of the trouble that Claude has caused you, that man can act without thinking about how awful it might be."


End file.
